The Challenges of Man

I was working on a different post but the links are all busy so I have decided to post some MAN humor and MAN wisdom! The following humor and wisdom is courtesy of a six year old e-mail I was sent and whose content I saved. The original authors are unknown by me. Enjoy!!!!

The Jest

CLASSES FOR MEN (Probably Suggested by Women)–>

AT OUR LOCAL LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS SIGN UP BY MARCH 25TH.

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT A MAXIMUM OF 8 PARTICIPANTS EACH.

• Topic 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. — Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
• Topic 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself? — Round Table Discussion.
• Topic 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls/Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice.
• Topic 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor. — Pictures/Explanatory Graphics.
• Topic 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink? — Examples on Video
• Topic 6: Loss of Identity – Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other. — Help Line Support and Support Groups
• Topic 7: Learning How to Find Things – Starting with Looking in the Right Places Instead of Turning the House Upside Down While screaming. — Open Forum.
• Topic 8: Health Watch – Bringing her Flowers is Not Harmful to Your Health. — Graphics and Audio Tapes.
• Topic 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. — Real Life Testimonials.
• Topic 10: Is it Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While she Parallel Parks? — Driving Simulations
• Topic 11: Learning to Live – Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and Role-Playing.
• Topic 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion. — Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
• Topic 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy – Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going to be Late. — Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
• Topic 14: The Stove/Oven – What it is and How it is Used. — Live demonstration.

** Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.**

Ancient Wisdom – Time waits for no man –>

“Time is a created thing. To say “I don’t have time” is like saying, “I don’t want to…”
- Lao-Tzu

I’m always surprised by the number of people who ask, “Where does all the time go, and why don’t we have enough?” Sometimes it seems as though a “Time Bandit” steals our minutes when we’re not looking and leaves us short at the end of the week.

The truth is that we control where our time goes. Time is finite. We only get 168 hours a week… fifty-two weeks a year. Time is a gift that most of us take for granted.

Most of us work a fifty-five hour week if we count the time spent at the office, commuting, preparing for work, and worrying about work. And that’s not including the twenty-four hour job of parenting for those of you with children.

If we add to that an average of fifty hours per week spent sleeping, we’re left with sixty-three hours for shopping, cooking, cleaning, exercising, self-care, errands, fun, friends, family, volunteering and so on. No wonder time seems in short supply!

When you realize that you are in charge of your life and your time is limited, your choices become more important. Care more about what you say “yes” to and what you say “no” to. After all, if you don’t say “yes”, the schedule doesn’t fill! Talking about schedules, I’m off to the gym. It’s Day 72 of my “Extreme Makeover.” (Otherwise known as my P.F.P Physical Fatness Program)

Caution Good Old Boy Politics at Work

When someone politics that they have “close personal relationships” with Dick Durbin and our specially selected Congressman Phil Hare to accumulate pork- red flags should  pop up in front of  the media and voters eyes! Especially when you start talking elections and Phil Hare. After all Hare was originally selected by “good old boys” in an end around the voters to replace Lane Evans as Congressman of our district. Since then it has been reported the local Rock Island Democratic Politburo has used bully tactics and dirty politics to keep Hare from facing real competition. This fall will be the first time Hare has had to actually face an opponent since his presence was inflicted upon the 17th district of Illinois. And as noted over on Jonathan Wallaces  blog –> the Philobluster dirty tricks squad are already on duty. Questionable Illinois politics have long tendrils deep into both major political parties. That includes links running from the Chicago Daley Machine to convicted felon Tony Rezko to President Barack Obama to Dick Durbin to our local Rock Island Democratic Politburo. They are all linked together by former State Senator and Obama mentor -Emile Jones plus the late Godfather of Rock Island politics ,John Gianulis. Both of whom also had very close ties to impeached former Governor Rod Blagojevich. So it should come as no surprise, to anyone in neighboring Quincy that voted for a politician who claims they have a personal connection to Hare/Durbin – when reports begin to surface that Illinois/Chicago style corruption could be  hard at work in the region. Maybe Quincy should hang out a now entering Quincy sign that includes –>

Caution “Good Old Boy” backroom politics hard at work.

Bill Maher Channels – George Bernard Shaw

I have stated before that thanks to several comments by blog visitors hating on Glenn Beck – I started tuning in his show on Fox as often as possible. I found that he and I have similar opinions on many subjects.My last post on Bill Maher started me thinking about some recent Beck programing revolving about how he felt that the Progressive Liberal factions of the Democrat Party were the next evolution of Socialism. I see it as Amercanized Socialism. I was also reading an article by Andrew Marcus discussing Beck’s point of view and links between modern progressives and violence against humanity.  Whether or not Progressives are the next evolution of Socialism – many of the Progressive Liberal  leadership like Obama and the cheerleaders like Maher come across as Socialists in words and action. I have often stated I see Obama as a Marxist wannabe. I see Socialism as a negative, though I notice many of the Progressive movements supporters embrace the Socialist aspects of Progressive Liberalism. In fact one of Bill Mahers continuing statements on  Larry King live sounds as if he channels a famous Socialist, who like Barack Obama won a Nobel Prize – George Bernard Shaw. In one of  Shaw’s recorded Socialist rants (video link below) – like Bill Maher- he states that the the common workers were too ignorant and apathetic to vote intelligently. At the time Shaw was defending the eugenic ideology of killing off the weak, uneducated and deformed as they were holding society back. Modern Progressives have taken a step closer to realizing that eugenic philosophy with their abortion on demand agendas. Over on QCExaminers blog there was a discussion that evolved into about how Progressives like Illinois Congressman Phil Hare want to use Obamacare as a means to have government legally paying for abortions. That also makes me think back to all the heated discussions where the left was riding Sarah Palin about her death panel remarks. I said it then and I continue to say it now: the Obamacare public option idea is just another baby-step method, in which Progressives like Obama see it as furthering their eugenic philosophy, where the Government gets to decide who lives and who dies. Welcome to the further Progressive attempts to create Huxley’s “Brave New World” –>Where your children will be eugenically  predetermined and engineered as Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta or Epsilon!

Bill Maher Speaks Again – America You are Stoopid

Once again, modern Progressive Liberal cheerleader, Bill Maher has went on Larry King Live to proclaim how he thinks Americans are stupid and incapable of understanding political legislation. Like Obama, Maher feels anyone against Obama legislation such as the Obamacare are just incapable of thinking for themselves. Maher suggests those Americans against Obamacare need to be forced into submission in order to worship the Obama Progressive Liberalism agenda. Maher’s elitism is truly representative of the extremist left wing factions of modern Progressive Liberalism. In a Bill Maher world those of us that disagree with the Marxist wannabe agenda of the extremist left –>should just all be hauled away to gulags and indoctrinated into Progressive Liberalism against our wills.  Even Obama seems to think all he needs to do is repackage the same publicly rejected legislative programs, like Obamacare,  by repainting them with Obama new-speak propaganda in order to make them acceptable. Like Maher, Team Obama thinks Americans are too stoopid and incapable of understanding his/their narcissistic leadership.

Two Mints in One

It seems that as the highly polished shine quickly begins to wear off the Barack Obama “hope and change” rhetoric – there is a surge in purchases of items decorated with pictures of a smiling  George W. Bush asking – “Miss Me Yet?”.  According to a CBS article the GW Bush items are some of the hottest sellers on the market. During the same time period Obama items, which had been the hottest sellers – have dropped off purchasers radar. Now that is entertainment and should cause an increase in aspirin purchases by the  Bush Deranged! I am not sure if that is a case where – absence has made hearts grow fonder of GW Bush or the sudden realization by voters that the Obama laid AstroTurf grass has not been  greener on the other side of the hill. Perhaps it is two mints, two mints in one.

Strike A Pose Phil

On 02/11/2110 I was reading  articles on QC Online about local political figure John Gianulis’ death and  funeral. Whether you liked the man, or not, he was a major political chess piece in the Quad City region for a very longtime. Gianulis was also a major player in getting Rod Blagojevich elected as Governor of Illinois! The Quad Cities were treated to the expected barrage of media coverage of the before and after spectacle that occurs when an important dignitary passes away. As with any such pageant – among the real mourners – are mixed important political puppets, along with their lesser noted characters. The lesser billed players are seeking recognition – in hopes of being noticed as a potential marquee billing material. The star players of the show are seeking to cast their radiance around as proof that the region needs their light to nourish the fields. The Quad Cities was not disappointed – as pointed out by QCExaminer, current secondary cast members have been busy scrounging around with the local media  to create a new hierarchy. Plus one of our current leading men took time to cast his radiance for the media at the Gianulis funeral.  Local US Congressman Philobluster Hare took time at the funeral for a photo opportunity. In what  certainly looked like a very staged photo that accompanied the Dispatch/Argus article on the Gianulis funeral , Phil,  who owes his seat in the US Congress to the Gianulis bullying tactics–> was standing very noticeably all alone – not another mourner in sight- looking down solemnly at the dead body of his former puppet master, John  Gianulis. Strike a Pose – Phil, and he did! Phil has found a method to use Gianulis to promote the Phil Hare campaign even after Gianulis’ death! And the Dispatch/Argus gave him that free advertisement opportunity. Clearly some Mad Men were very busy at work somewhere during this exhibition .

On a personal note, I have not been blogging much of late. I have been fighting with a  previous health problem that looks like it is finally clearing up – again. So my  blogging presence  should start to return to more normal levels. Thanks for your continuing visits.

Possible Obama Budget Busters

Barack Obama has revealed his 3.8 trillion dollar2011 budget and budget cuts to the public and Congress. After a closer examination of the proposed Obama budget,with my almost psychic remote viewing capabilities, it seems there are already some questionable requested expenditures among the lists of financial requests. Are they budget busters?

Defense spending – funds for Michelle Obama to tour the country saying Broccoli good / Deep Fried Twinkies Bad

Security and entertainment – for Barack overnight weekends at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch while Michelle is touring

Defense spending – for a top secret bunker in order for Barack to hide his Twinkies and Little Debbie treats from Michelle and public eyes.

White House property improvements – a new pair of Hillary Clinton nut crackers

White House remodeling costs to Remove crayon writing of “Barack Slept Here” from the Lincoln Bedroom

Black Ops spending – To hire study group to rename the racially termed Black Ops programs

Publicity Expenditures- new government blog to be run by Team Obama extolling the works of Mao Tse Tung – titled Me and Mao, We’re Number One

Publicity expenditures- research regarding methods to censor Glenn Beck’s exposure of the Progressive itinerary

Publicity expenditures – To hire a Tom Bodett in order to make a video disk advertisement that will be forwarded to lobbyists letting them know despite all the Obama public rhetoric, the White House will still leave the lights on for entry by the backdoor.

Black Ops expenditures – invisible ink pen for adding amendments to legislation such as budget lists