Landing On the White House Lawn (R)

Caution!!! The following post is not recommended for the easily politically offended. Read at your own risk!

Do to a disgruntled revue from my orthopedic physician (they boast that title so they can charge you extra $$$ for making the same diagnosis as your general practitioner) yesterday and the fact that his secret police have been spying on me more than usual I have stooped to the levels of Prime Time TV today and I am offering up a repeat of one of my earlier political posts. So as a reminder of past Scoundrelly entertainment to my regular readers and as a chance for newer visitors to get a glimpse of past posts I am reposting one of my Scoundrels Weird Al Moments. Enjoy! —>

Landing on the White House Lawn!

Well the Cubs were busy losing. The storm was driving my dog crazy, who was taking it out on me. I was trying to read about the Edwards-Clinton-Obama desire to exclude other candidates in the debates. My bad eye started to burn. Then Dr. Hook music came on my radio. And the following nightmare began forming in my mind and refused to leave. So to force it out I wrote it down and purged it from my system. I call it howieD and the traveling medicine show’s (hillaryC-johnnyE-barackO) victory march; “Landing on the Whitehouse Lawn” Since Dr. Hook was playing on the radio, it is best read or sang to the tune of Dr. Hook’s “Cover of the Rolling Stone”. A definite Boomer link. Man-o-Man am I glad I got that out of my head!

Well we’re big sock puppet zingers,

And we got stinky political fingers

But we’re loved everywhere we go

We lie about truth and we promise you beauty

Only a few hundred million dollars for our show

We get all kinds of thrills as we deceive you with our shills

To take us to the biggest thrill ride of ‘em all

Cause we want our picture, taken as we hover

Landing on the 9th year-Whitehouse-Lawn

(give the chorus a screeeeech howardD)

I Wanna see my picture taken as we hov-v-v-ver

Gonna Buy a million copies for Pelosi and her luhver

Wanna see my smiling face

As we’re landing on that Whitehouse Lawn-n-n-n-n

(take a solo hillyC)

I got a saxy sweetie-baby named Smiling Slick Willie

Who won’t keep on his jeans.

(give it a shot johnnyE)

I got my Christian hating bloggers

Driving and a Riding my campaign limousine

(everybody now)

Now we all decide to cloud your minds

But your minds won’t really be gone

(try that crown on for size with a solo barrackO)

Until the numb that will set in, when you see MY picture

Landing on the Whitehouse lawn

(Another chorus round guys, Sorry dennyK no reindeer games for you in 2008)

Wanna see my picture taken as we hov-v-v-ver

Gonna Buy a million copies for Pelosi and her luhver

Wanna see my smiling face

As we’re landing on that Whitehouse Lawn-n-n-n-n

(One last verse guys)

We got a lotta gullible Internet groupies

that’ll repeat anything we say

We gotta a born-again-green Goracle

Leading us to greener days

We got all the friends their money can buy

Helping us to buy the golden power throne

And we keep getting richer so we can get our picture

Taken on the Whitehouse lawn

(lets hear that chorus one last time guys, Sorry joeyB your days are long gone. This club is fer new blood and winners.)

Wanna see my picture taken as we hov-v-v-ver

Gonna Buy a million copies for Pelosi and her luhver

Wanna see my smiling face

As we’re landing on that Whitehouse Lawn-n-n-n-n

Can you see that vision guys —> all beautiful as we’re standing in the Rose Garden. Maybe Some Fireside chats. Republicans under our control! Ahhhhh!

Damn It Smiling Billy, you get your hands off my groupies!!

And Goracle you get your faux green booty outta here- ya’ll had your chance long ago!!

johnnyK and teddyK you all get your loser buttocks away from here before you screw up our finally-in-reach wet dream………..

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A past special Weird Al Moment tribute just for Barack Obama.

And a past special Weird Al moment just for John Kerry.

Et Tu, Brute err. I mean Bill Uhh, I Mean Judas?

During the Democrat Debates, Clinton political friend and fellow POTUS wannabe, Bill Richardson left me the impression he was campaigning for the Vice President nomination as much as he was for the President slot. Richardson hedging his bets, nothing wrong with that. Now, with his recent endorsement of Obama over Clinton, you have to wonder if he is trying to further cut a backroom sweetheart deal for that Vice President slot. An endorsement from a Super Delegate, such as Richardson, could just be the momentum to finalize the deal for an Obama presidency run. To say that the Richardson’s endorsement of Obama has not went over well in the Clinton camp would be a great understatement. Never a political force to be minimalized, the Clinton Camp refuses to settle for the normal colloquial like, Et Tu Brute. Instead, Clinton-Barker James Carville has embraced an Easter Holiday comparison to Judas’ betrayal of Christ to describe former ally Richardson’s endorsement of Obama. The never use a shotgun when you have a Mark 84 available strategy. I am assuming, probably as does Carville, that Richardson is hoping his thirty pieces of silver comes by the way of a Vice Presidency offer from Obama and the Democrat Version of the Sanhedrin. However, I am still having trouble forcing my mind to make the comparative jump equating Hillary to Jesus. I really-really-really ain’t quite there yet!!! Perhaps if they literally crucified Hillary and left her staked up on Capital Hill, then buried her under the Senate Floor. Then we could all wait and see if she arose again in three days. Is it live or is it Memorex? Of course, if her body did disappear and/or arose, then we would all have to wonder if she was really resurrected and whether she was really a messiah or Mabus, another of Nostradumas’ predicted Antichrists.

Maybe she just liked to watch the show

Caution the following post contains adult subjects, read at your own peril.

Okay – I am not a big fan of Hillary Clinton. So I could care less how bad or how often she is harpooned by the media. Still I guess in this day and age I am more amused and annoyed than shocked at the suggestion, by CNN, that she might have been in the White House during Bill Clinton’s sexual misconduct with Monica Lewinsky. Do we really need to relive the already well publicized Bill Clinton sex scandals? I am one of those people that has never believed that Hillary did not know about the promiscuous sexual escapades that were previously going on with her husband and all those women. She is way too intelligent and there were just too many episodes for her to be that blind. In fact I get the impression she was more interested in the couples climb to power than what was happening with Bill and his bedroom eyes locked on to all the other women. For all I know they could be one of those couples whom are married in name only. Heck maybe she liked to participate or even watch the Lewinsky show for all I know. It is not like she would be the first or the last individual into kink. But there is such a thing as Too-Much-Information. And I have had all of the Clinton’s sex scandal I can stand. We have already been made aware that he is a philanderer, a liar and a misogynist and the majority of the country has said so what and cuddled up to his bad boy image. Do I approve, no. But the time for tap dancing on his thick skull has long passed. We have heard it all before and it is all old news. And anyone who believes that Hillary was unaware of what was going on is just basically beyond gullible. So can’t we just leave the sordid rehash of Bill Clinton’s sex life in the gutter where it belongs? And lets all get back to what is really important, the upcoming Major League Baseball season, Opening Day: 11 days 9 hr 25 min 39 seconds and counting!

The John McCain Presidential Short VP Wish List

With John McCain having clinched the top spot on the Republican POTUS ticket there will be lots of individuals trying to help him select a running mate for the Vice-President slot. In barbershops, hair salons, restaurants, bars etc. people across this great nation of the USA and in many places around the world have their brains spinning on just who will McCain select to stand beside him and if necessary replace him should he be unable to carry out his duties should he get elected. So calling up on the great precognizant powers, that I almost have, here are some of those selections being considered by concerned individuals across our diverse nation. So lets hear the drum roll and let the orchestra strike up a round of “Hail to the Chief” as we help John McCain choose his Vice President.

We should start with McCain’s most likely opponents Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Theirs was such an obvious choice that I did not even need my almost precognizant powers. They both wanted the individual they are already running against – VPNod1.

And since they will be keeping tabs for the World on whomever is the next POTUS and VPOTUS my extrasensory perception gave me the insight on whom CNN has on their wish list for McCain’s VP. Of course it does not really take a psychic to understand that they want someone to help them keep liberal far left stagnant in their Bush Derangement Syndrome and tuning into their advertisements (after all that is what TV News is all about, selling commercial time). There could only be one such candidate for them that would keep the left as stirred up as George Bush and that dream candidate is – VPNod2.

Anyone who can read a newspaper or magazine , turn on a radio or TV – also knows that John McCain was not, is not nor will ever be the sweetheart choice of the far right fiscal neo conservatives. So it will probably come as no surprise to any of you that once again my psychic powers were not strained to understand that the choice of McCain’s VP by the extreme neo conservatives from news channel Fox would have to be someone they trust to carry on their brand of conservative message, should Rush Limbaugh accidentally on purpose trip McCain and cause him to fall down 50 flights of stairs in a John McCain Presidency. That choice could only be the man they have touted as should-be President from the beginning of the campaign – VPNod3.

And speaking of the self-proclaimed omniscient and omnipotent El Rushbo, the also self-appointed leader of USA conservatives and leader of the anti-McCain movement. It seems my psychic connection with the wise one failed to come up with what I would call a realistic vision. Instead it seems he is favoring a candidate that would help him avoid having to accidentally push McCain down fifty flights of stairs to get a Limbaugh stamped individual sitting on the US throne. The vision I kept having was of an individual that had no qualms of doing whatever it took to reach the top. So here is my almost psychic vision of an ideal Limbaugh candidate choice, Jim Profit VPNod4.

My next almost psychic vision involved The Republican Party hopeful rank and file. It was of a more stranger mode than the others. My almost psychic impression was chilling as it involved the resurrection of a dead body. So needing to get this unnerving unrealistic vision out of my head here is the Republican Rank and File almost psychic dream obsession of McCain’s VPNod5.

My next revelation was almost as strange. Somehow, and I really do not want to know how it happened, a Bill Clinton almost psychic vision entered in to my mind. That is a very scary happening, and confusing, as there seemed to be a lot of women polishing torpedoes with presidential seals tattooed on the torpedoes – involved in the dream. Still considering he is a Clinton, it was not all that surprising as to the almost psychic dream’s revelation as to Bill Clinton’s choice for McCain’s VP candidate VPNod6.

There were several other almost psychic revelations that were not quite as clear but here there are. I received the impression that former Mexico President, Vicente Fox was clinging to an unusual hope that McCain would choose someone like Illinois Governor Milorad Blagojevich as he would be a McCain successor that would most likely carryout Fox’s exporting of Mexico’s poor class, illegal immigration schemes. I also got the impression that Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez was hoping for McCain and an early McCain expiration and for him to have chosen Danny Glover as his running mate. And my last but least surprising vision was that Radical Islamic Forces were arguing over who would make a better choice for Vice-President for either party. I was under the impression they were split on the choices of either Sean Penn, Tim Robbins or Susan Sarandon as they were unsure which would best publicly defend them should they need protection the next time they destroy property and kill innocent people. I got the impression that the terror driven factions liked all choices and were having a difficult time deciding whom was the best candidate. Whew well that round of psychic visions has left me exhausted and in need of a break.

The Agent of Change Puppet Show

CNN reported that on Wednesday – Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton had another embarrassing moment similar to the State of the Union incident. Once again Ted Kennedy was at the center of the situation. Kennedy went over to shake hands and speak with Clinton during a Senate Vote, presumably about her Super Tuesday win in his home state of Massachusetts. Clinton laughed loudly during the banter, which caught Obama’s attention, who was standing within close range of the exchange. In what was most likely a taunt, Clinton then replied to Obama with a laugh; “I had a big sigh of relief when he [Kennedy] endorsed you.” Oops! According to the article, the necessary save-face-chat that followed included some uncomfortable laughter. The story said afterwards John Kerry came along and led Obama to a neutral corner. Evidently no blood was spilled.

Ouch, the agent of change , Obama should have expected these kinds of situations with Good Old Boy Teddy Kennedy on board. Kennedy is old school politics and tactics. Kennedy is using Obama for a perssonal chance in the National Presidential spotlight that he has been denied, due to his own personal shortcomings. Fortunately John Kerry had the wisdom to move Obama away from the situation while Clinton and Kennedy traded their insider barbs. You have to wonder how long before Kerry and Kennedy will clash in each politician’s mission for maximum puppeteer control and maneuver of the Obama song and dance show!

Insider Fighting and Bickering Over Kennedy Endorsement of Obama

There were a couple of interesting articles this morning over on the CNN Political Press site. It seems that Ted Kennedy is getting some flack over his endorsement of Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton. According to one article the organization NOW, who have in the past overlooked Teddy’s philandering and misogynist practices as long as he voted for their agendas in the Senate, have strongly rebuked the Senator and called his action a betrayal of their group in a very public manner, for not endorsing Clinton. Oops too bad for Teddy, too bad its not likely to ride him off the taxpayers payroll. In another article, during the State of the Union address someone snapped a picture of an incident telling of the strain being put on the two candidates, when Barack Obama looks away from and give the cold shoulder to Hillary as she leans across in front of him to shake politically eager hands. Here’s the Beef Hillary looks as if she is enjoying the moment to the Political Max while Obama clearly has a stressed look on his face as Clinton invades his space and comfort zone.

CNN Links have a tendency to change addresses as they update articles. So the above links may fail, I will check and update when chance allows.

Obama Secures the Drunken Misogynist Vote!

The Democrat primary between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama has been revved up another notch. Clinton and Obama continue to try and get one foot above the other on the ladder climb to the top of the party’s primary election with celebrity and political endorsements, that will attract the left wing of the party. Today Obama went one up on Hillary by securing the support of far left liberal Ted Kennedy to match the liberal appeal of Bill Clinton. Now both candidates have a political official well publicized across the Internet for victimizing and preying on women! Hillary still has Bill, but his endorsements pale to the side of Ted Kennedy when it comes to preying on women. Sure Bill may have victimized and preyed on many women. But with the addition of Ted Kennedy, Obama has managed to get someone with a long family history of politicians using their political power for preying on women, whom is also the granddaddy of scandal clad predatory congressman that even managed to get involved in the vehicular homicide of a woman following one of his drunken parties. Ted Kennedy makes Bill Clinton look like Mr. Deeds when it comes to scandals. Accepting the Ted Kennedy addition is another chunk hacked away from the Obama campaign promise of change image. But it should lock down the votes of any drunken misogynist that was wavering on whom to vote for!

Sex and Power

It sounds like David Colby, another in a recent long line of high level executives fired for abusing his executive position in a “non-business nature”, could have used the Bill Clinton legal team. Or maybe Colby just needed a pit-bull-wife with political aspirations, like Hillary Clinton. The story here is if a business executive uses his position for sexual exploitation it is abuse and deserving of termination. If a Governor and POTUS does the same he is entitled to fame, glory and large wads of cash.

Hillary Clinton Campaign – the Animal House Platform?

Don’t cha just hate it when you trust valuable personal assets to the care of someone and the individuals that were using the possessions, turn out to be comparable to the Delta House Fraternity in the movie “Animal House”? And at best, they show minimal respect for the caretaking of your property! It is especially disturbing when these individuals are supposedly professional representatives renting business property. Messy cleanup costs alone can often outweigh the profit figured into a short-term rental agreement and it will probably end up as a breakeven transaction at best, even if you have charged and received a nominal safety deposit. Then if there are damages involved, it will start to put the whole transaction into the red line. When damages are involved there is also usually a considerable amount of downtime for the rental property while reparations are taking place, making for even more lost revenue. Which makes the article I read on the Quad City Times a real head-scratcher. According to the article the Hillary Clinton campaign left the property they rented for Iowa caucus night in Clinton, Iowa a trashy mess! The article also said that some of the property was damaged. There was garbage strewn, spoilables left laying in the rooms, stained carpets, holes that had been drilled in the walls without permission, smoke alarms were missing and other possible building code infractions. The building owner kept the $500.00 safety deposit plus had to chase the Clinton campaign people down to get another $1750.00, and the owner hopes that will be enough to finish building repairs! That is an embarrassing state of events and not a banner campaign moment considering this is a group of professionals representing Senator Hillary Clinton, whom is running for President of the USA. I can only suppose that is indicative of the way her staff treated people and property throughout their stay in Iowa. They say word of mouth can be the best or worst advertising available. Perhaps word of mouth about staff disrespect for property and people is what finished off her Iowa Primary aspirations, sending her to defeat. I wonder if they have a Toga Party planned for South Carolina? Toga-Toga-Toga!

Hillary and Bill Clinton Double Teaming Obama

CNN is a little slow on the draw but they finally posted that they notice what a lot of us have been witnessing since the election started; while Hillary Clinton is busy cozying up to the other candidates, hubby Bill and the rest of her attack squad, are on Obama’s (and the other candidates) flank, mercilessly shelling them like a Sherman tank. Did anyone expect anything different? It shows the difference between an experienced campaigner and a political newcomer like Obama. Obama’s biggest obstacle has been and still is; he is a relative rookie playing in a dirty card game full of Washington DC gamblers looking to stack the deck, but he is learning fast and has a large following of true believers, assuming that his image is not excessively tarnished during the upcoming Rezko trial. Hillary’s advantage has been and still is; she is a shark circling a school of fish watching for the right time to strike. The final outcome is still in question, but the experience advantage is pure Clinton.