Posts Tagged With: holidays

Sing Along With Elvis for Christmas


Wow – you can forget American Idol! I never watched the show anyway. But who needs some wimpy talent show like American Idol when Sony Music says you can sing with the King, Elvis Presley! Yahoo! Yes – according to an AP article by John Gerome, you can link to the Sony website and sing Blue Christmas with Elvis! Now that has to be a dream come true for any shower songbird!! And you can even record it as an E-Card for posterity or special torture for your friends- NO CHARGE!! Don’t just get Mom another fuzzy red robe for Christmas. So sing with the King and then send her an E-Card copy to accompany this year’s present or risk having a Blue-Blue-Blue Christmas!

Thank You, Thank You Very Much!

:-) ……………… :-)

Categories: Culture, Current Events, Entertainment, humor, Life, News, Wheres the Beef! | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy 2008 New Year!


The 2007 clock is winding down to a stop. As December 31, gasps it last few frail breaths tonight, the robust New Year of 2008 will roll in. Out with the old and in with the new! And as the new year rolls it way into our lives it gives us time to sit back and reflect about the past year. Many of us will be making umpteen million new years resolutions. Not me of course. I only have one News Years resolution and that is, not to make any new New Years resolutions. Some of us will be looking forward with high expectations. Others will be scuffling around shuffling their feet crying about spilt milk. Some of us will party hardy until we have run up humongous liquor costs, pass out then wakeup in the morning with a headache. Others of us will prop up our feet while reclining in Big Green with a cup of hot cocoa (or a nice frosty cold mug of Mt. Dew), Nestles Christmas Chocolate Jingles and/or chocolate chip cookies then fall into deep slumber watching the Twilight Zone Marathon. At such momentous times it is good to reflect on the wisdom of the great philosophers. And as I reflect on the 2007 that was, and the 2008 that will be, I cannot think of any better words to bring in the New Year than from the modern philosopher Toby Keith’s song “As Good As I Once Was“:

She said, “I seen you in here before.”
I said, “I’ve been here a time or two.”
She said, “Hello, my
Name is Bobby Jo
Meet my twin sister Betty Lou
And we’re both feeling kinda wild tonight
And you’re the only cowboy in this place
And if you’re up for a rodeo
We’ll put a big Texas smile on
Your face”
I said, “Girls,”

[Chorus]
I ain’t as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
But there was a time back in my prime

When I could really lay it down
And if you need some love tonight
Then I might have just enough
I ain’t as good as I once was
But I’m as good once as I ever was

I still hang out with my best friend Dave
I’ve known him since we were kids at school
Last night he
Had a few shots
Got in a tight spot hustlin’ a game of pool
With a couple of redneck boys
One great
Big bad biker man
I heard David yell across the room
“Hey buddy, how ’bout a helping hand.”
I said, “Dave,”

[Chorus]
I ain’t as good as I once was
My how the years have flown
But there was a time back in my prime

When I could really hold my own
But if you wanna fight tonight
Guess those boys don’t look all that
Tough
I ain’t as good as I once was
But I’m as good once as I ever was

I used to be hell on wheels
Back when I was younger man
Now my body says, “You can’t do this boy”

But my pride says, “Oh, yes you can

I ain’t as good as I once was
That’s just the cold hard truth
I still throw a few back, talk a little smack
When I’m feeling bullet proof
So don’t double dog dare me now
‘Cause I’d have to call your bluff

I ain’t as good as I once was
But I’m as good once as I ever was
Maybe not be good as I once was
But I’m as good once as I ever was

Yee Haw and a Happy New Year Everyone!

Categories: Current Events, Entertainment, humor, Life, News | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

Politically Correct Christmas Visions


While I was surfing the Internet (I still have not found the end of it, must be because I am still running on dial-up service) I ran across a couple of interesting looks at politically corrected Christmas events. So here as an early Christmas presents to my readers are a couple of humorous links.

The first was an article from Joe Holleman from the St. Louis Post Dispatch. In his article he takes a look at Christmas past (1963) and Christmas present. He takes a sad but humorous look at how celebrations of the holiday have changed. No ghosts are involved but he gets a few punches in on politically correct organizations while he pokes some sad humor about the closeness and fun that have been taken out of life and the Holidays through abuse of political correctness. Here is the link to the article: ‘Twas the night before a politically correct Christmas.

Another humorous look at political correctness worming its way into the holidays can be found over on the Humor Matters site operated by Steven M. Sultanoff,PhD. Here is the very funny poem he has posted called “A Politically Correct Christmas Poem“:

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”,
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called “unenlightened”.

To show you the strangeness of today’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So…half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she’d had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts…why, he’d never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur…
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales…while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football…someone might get hurt,
besides – playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn’t figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy – with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere…even you!
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…

“MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH”

Categories: Current Events, Entertainment, humor, Life, Wheres the Beef! | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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