Posted by: thescoundrel | November 18, 2006

We now interrupt our regular programming to post this important bulletin!


While diligently working on my next post (sandwiched in between the Chicago Bear’s vs. NY Giants game and the Mr. Monk’s holiday episode) I was sidetracked by late breaking news from the state of Illinois’ political scalawag division. It seems that our state scalawags must have found the wizards formula for turning lead into gold. I assume this because despite being informed for a lengthy time now by our fearless leaders that the state was in dire need of money. Enough so that many payments to health services have been long delayed. Enough so, that our educational system is in need of a funds transfusion to offer all our students a quality education. Enough so, that our Governor has been debating about selling the cash cow lottery system to save the same education system it was supposed to save in the first place from its advertised selling points to the public. Yet despite the elected shepards of our cash and well-being shedding rivers of tears and cries of anguish 😥 about the lack of cash available earlier in the year, many of our political scalawags made late pre-election promises of pork projects to various ventures in the state and region. And as of this Thursday those crafty scalawag magicians have managed to pull more cash funding out of their magical hat to be able to increase their personal salary by 13%. Yahoo, their money tree is bearing fruit again!  So since it has just been months since our illustrious Governor and political bodies were bemoaning the lack of amassed wealth of our state to fill the needs of their constituents, The State’s Money Tree along with local citizens in need such as Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard were bare, so I have to assume they have finally stumbled upon that age old lost formula for transmutation of turning lead into gold. Happy days are evidently here again!!!!! I do hope none of them get lead poisoning in the transforming process.

 

We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming without commercial interruption: “Amazon Women on the Moon”! (Blatant uncompensated plug for one of my favorite cult movies)

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