Posted by: thescoundrel | March 22, 2007

Ramblings of The Scoundrel


Sorry folks but I really have been lax with my blog as of late. Family interests along with along with a break for the better in weather has kept my attention diverted elsewhere. (My attention is so locked in on other issues that I have only visited the dozen or so different Chicago Cubs’ websites and blogs, that I link to, a couple of times over the last several days. My normal visitation to Cub sites/blogs, depending on where I am and whether or not I have access to a computer, is around 2-3 times each on a daily basis. Yeah I know it is insane and pathetic but it is one of my few vices!) Still I wanted to take time to send accolades to the following:

First I would like to recommend to the next person that goes to Manny’s Pizza in Savannah, Illinois to tell them to enter into the twenty-first business century and get a website. Every since SCHQC mentioned how good the pizza was at Manny’s on my Pizza-Pizza-Pizza Post I have been averaging over one hit a day on that older post, evidently looking for a website for the Pizza joint. I have never eaten there but I trust SCHQC’s insight must be correct from the constant hits I get searching for the place. It sounds to me like they are missing out on a business opportunity to me. Somebody should educate them!

Second, I wish to send out hearty disingenuous accolades to all the online gambling, prescription drug and porn Spammers. For in a time period of just a little over a week – they have pushed my Akismet Spam totals from 88 to over five hundred Spam posts. It is good to have friends like that, especially the one location that sent me a whole page full of prescription drug links. As the Macho Man would say, Ohhh yeahhhhhhhh! (I deeply apologize to the readers that I cannot get my voice as reasonably deep as Leaping Lanny Poffo’s brother, the “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

And last but not least I wish to send out even more disingenuous praise to Lt. Gen. ALIYU MOHAMMED, National Security Adviser to President Olusegun Obasanjo Federal Republic of Nigeria for his continuing deep concerns about my $10 million dollars contract package. (Sure wish I had ten million dollars, or maybe not, large amounts of personal wealth tend to corrupt your character. But I would be willing to see if it did corrupt me if I ever win that ###### Illinois lotto.) I know just how concerned he is because he keeps sending me the following letter requesting my personal information to enable him to make the transaction final:

GET BACK TO ME AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVINIENCE

Dear, (Sadly he doesn’t even know my name I am just a blank spot in a letter greeting!)

I am Lt. Gen.ALIYU MOHAMMED, National Security Adviser to
President Olusegun Obasanjo Federal Republic of Nigeria. I
decided to contact you because of the prevailing security
report reaching my office and the intense nature of policy
in Nigeria. This is to inform you about our plan to send
your fund to you via cash delivery. This system will be
easier for you and for us. We are going to send your
contract part payment of US$10. Million to you via
diplomatic courier service. I have secured every needed
document to cover the money.
Note: The money is coming on 2 security proof boxes. The
boxes are sealed with synthetic nylon seal and padded with
machine. This fund was brought to us from America; it was
meant for our Local AFEM market. But since the money was
not used, I will use my position as the National Security
Adviser to the President to send this fund to you. Please
you don’t have to worry for any thing I will finance the
transaction.
The boxes are coming with a Diplomatic agent who will
accompany the boxes to your house address. All you need to
do now is to send to me your full house address and your
identity such as, international passport or driver license
including your contact phone numbers, The Diplomatic
attached will travel with it. He will call you immediately
he arrives your country’s airport. I hope you understand
me.
Note: The diplomatic does not know the original contents
of the boxes. What l declared to them as the contents is
Sensitive Photographic Film Material. I did not declare

money to them please. If they call you and ask you the
contents please tell them the same thing Ok,i will let you
know how far I have gone with the arrangement. I will
secure the Diplomatic immunity clearance certificate that
will be tagged on the boxes to make it stand as a
diplomatic consignment.
This clearance will make it pass every custom checkpoint
all over the world without hitch. Confirm the receipt of
this message and send the requirements to me immediately
you receive this message. If you need more information
about this, i will give you the contact of the diplomatic
agents for more information on how to carry out the plan.
Please I need urgent reply because the boxes are schedule
to leave as Soon as we hear from you.
Best Regards,
Lt. Gen. ALIYU MOHAMMED
National Security Adviser to the President
Federal Republic of Nigeria

🙄 I was especially grateful and appreciative for his assurance that it would pass through postal and customs agencies without any annoyance from those pesky federal officials and tax agents. 🙄 Those ratfink lottery officials make no such guarantee when I buy one of their lottery tickets from the Illinois Lottery games that Uncle Roddy 😡 wants to sell off. It is so nice to have good guys like the “Lt. General” looking out after my financial welfare. Ohhhh Yeahhhhhh!

p.s. One thing brought to my attention that I keep forgetting to mention is that if the readers are having trouble accessing my links is that they may need to hold down the Ctrl key when clicking the link, as I usually have all my links open in another window. The problem may arise because pop-up blockers can prevent the link access without using the Ctrl key to override the blocker mechanism. Sorry I knew that, but I never really thought about it being a problem for anyone.

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Responses

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