Posted by: thescoundrel | May 7, 2007

Living Green Carnival Barkers

I am sure most of us can still remember the advice of Sage Al the Goracle that we all need to be watching our energy consumption. Of course the Sage demanded a sacrificial exhibition as he commanded all of his worshipers to become his disciples teaching the world that they were all supposed to be cramming their 4.3 families into gas saving vehicles designed for 2.0 families, while his worshipers were also supposed to be preaching about living in our modern day caves spartan and darkened by restricting the use of modern energy consuming lights and appliances and while keeping those darkened caves at near freezing temperatures in the winter and just short of the boiling point in the heat of summer. But like a corrupted Priest demanding abstinence from his parishioners while chasing every skirt that comes into view, the Goracle could not live up to his sacrificial expectations. While his disciples were spreading the good word of Goracle’s Living Green Machine philosophy and promoting his Holy Green Testament “The Inconvenient Truth”: Al was living large, stomping his green Bigfootprints around the World by consuming energy faster than his followers were saving it. The Goracle was flying in private jets, cruising in his fully-fitted private limousine and keeping his mansion’s ravenous energy appetite filled to capacity with enough electricity and energy to feed the homes of several families. It seems that Al the Goracle’s true philosophy is that Energy is only for the rich and preferred.

It has also been just a short time since we were all treated to Sheryl Crow’s wizened words of Living Green Wisdom concerning the rationing of toilet paper. Yet a pattern of the Green Machine Conservation Carnival Barkers seems to be coming out. Crow, another Carnival Barker Disciple of Green felt the need to express her concern for peoples need to cut back to one sheet of toilet paper in the bathrooms across the country. A very noble idea of conservation, save a tree, though perhaps the ends result would come out a little smelly. It might work if every bathroom was fitted with a bidet, though water usage would probably increase exponentially. Still let us take a look at the Green Bigfootprint of Miss Crow as exposed by the group over at The Smoking Gun. The Smoking Gun prints music-tour contract copies that contain performers (often ludicrous) demands. It seems that Crow talks the Green Talk but like Al the Goracle, she does not walk the Green Walk except in front of the cameras. It seems her traveling entourage requires parking spots for three tractor-trailers, four buses and six cars. That’s all right, the rest of us can just walk to work and save the fuel for her musical convoy. And despite requiring enough food and liquor to be provided that the group could start their own bar, there is no request to keep the drunken feast supplied with either reusable or recyclable materials. These requests do not even take into account the enormous amount of energy needed by the stadium and group just to create the concert performance. Nor did I see any personal sacrifice listed to limit supplied basic toiletries for herself and the crew. Crow, Another Living Green Machine Hypocrite Disciple whose actions fall way short of what she asks the rest of the world to sacrifice.



  1. As you might imagine, there is a blog devoted to mocking the lear-jet liberals and their new-found “religion”. You may already know about planetgore

    Scroll down to Friday’s entry and you’ll see that Crow’s pal, Laurie David as a negative carbon balance of 34 tons.

    These environmental fundamentalists remind me of the olden days when New York limousine liberals adopted the radical Black Panthers as “pets”. It didn’t work out well.

    These people never learn.

  2. I am not against ecology as I think the planet is something that we all are stewards of. But the ecology movement seems to be comprised of extremist alarmist hypocrites like Goracle and Crow who shout sacrifice-sacrifice-sacrifice to Joe Average while they devour, consume and waste energy and resources. One of the few people preaching the Green word that also seems to be living the life is Ed Begley Jr. But he is also part of the Hollywood crowd which can’t seem to figure out how to make a movie without spending multi-millions of dollars and wasting the same in energy and resources to get their protest out.

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