Posted by: thescoundrel | August 5, 2007

It’s Official – The End of the World is Near!

A series of much overlooked anomalous events has come to leave me apprehensive about the future of this planet. I can only assume as these events continue to escalate out of control that we are probably facing an even more serious condition than global warming. (I considered writing Al the Goracle to see if he had some explanation about the dangers involved but decided against it as I realized he would just tell me to plant a tree, which would block my satellite dish antenna so he could blame GW Bush for my poor satellite reception.) So I carefully examined all the variables and have come to the following ominous conclusion; Hell has definitely frozen over!!! I did not come to this conclusion easily but after looking at all the information I can only conclude that the end of the World is at hand! Read and decide for yourself at the following evidence that I can only assume is a harbinger of pending doom and disaster! One of the first indicators is that the Colorado Rockies not only have a winning record but they actually are still in contention in MLB’s NL West! But the most damning evidence is that my Chicago Cubbys have made it past their normal June Swoon season and are still competing for a division title in spite of a team homerun famine. They are actually one of the hottest teams in baseball for the last couple of months. What clinches my belief that the end of the World is near is that the team they are chasing for the division title is one of their co-doormats of the NL central division, the Milwaukee Brewers. Something ain’t right, I can smell the fire and brimstone! That is too scary for reality. I am restocking all my Y2K supplies immediately, then buying plywood and boards to cover my windows and doors, damn it no time to build a bomb shelter! Now I suppose the next trick will be how to keep Al the Goracle from planting some hideous guilt trip in front of my satellite dish so I can watch the playoffs. Be afraid be very afraid!!! Survival information. Lets play some baseball!


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