Posted by: thescoundrel | September 6, 2007

Another Government Secret Document Leaked!


A sad presentation of serious problems existing in the government of the United States of America was displayed by the following recent illegal leak of a memo/documentation discussing a Bipartisan political crisis facing both houses of the Congress and with the upcoming POTUS election candidates.

Congressional Memo

To: All members of the House of Representatives and Senate of the United States of America

From: From the law offices of Dewey – Cheatum and Howe acting for President Pro Tempore

It has glaringly been brought to our attention during the recent Presidential Debate that many candidates running for the office of POTUS are dying on the debate podium and refusing to fall over. This has also been reported as happening frequently during sessions in both Houses of the Congress of this United States of America. THIS MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY (especially during CSPAN taping and national television broadcast sessions)! This communication is to inform all the members of Congress and Presidential candidates that in the future any legislator or POTUS candidate found still standing up after dying will be dropped from the roll call and/or POTUS contention though said individual shall be kept on payroll until a successor has been chosen or their current term runs out, as applicable. Special consideration may apply for those candidates pompous enough to continue Party speechifying despite having reached an advanced state of rigimortis. Due to the great difficulty in discerning the difference between a dead politician and a living one performing their duties, from time to time we may be required to awaken you during legislative sessions to determine your current state of existence. If there is any doubt as to the individuals state of mortality then an immediate offering of a special-interest endowment in exchange for Pork funded projects will be periodically extended to the individual in order to make a final determination of their condition, knowing that any living breathing legislator/candidate will take the money and run. Thank you for your time in these considerations, you may now return to your afternoon nap before happy hour at Teddy’s house. The drinks are on the House of Representatives budget this week!

(The preceding refabricated news memo was brought to you courtesy of theScoundrel! And whomever wrote the original had to have a great understanding of the USAmerican work culture. I salute them.)

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