Posted by: thescoundrel | November 10, 2007

Ten Reasons Stereo Shopping Makes You Feel Older


Stereo shopping: One of those days when you want to scream and pull your hair on your head out in bunches but you wisely realize, you do not have that much hair you can afford to spare on your head. Here are my ten reasons that stereo shopping makes you feel older:

  • You can remember needing a hookup on your stereo for an 8-Trak player.
  • You still have a BSA 8-Trak player and a Panasonic 8-trak player/recorder in your closet, though the tapes have long since self-destructed.
  • You take along your nineteen year old cousin with the blue spiked hair to help you translate the sales clerks tech-spiel into a version of English you can understand.
  • The sales clerk has no fathom as to why you want a receiver that has a hookup for a turntable and replies she has never seen a 33 1/3 record album.
  • The system being shown to you has seven speakers and each are smaller than the 24 oz. bottle of Mt. Dew you just had for lunch.
  • You stand their clueless as she and your cousin attempts to explain the difference between a digital audio coax cable and a TOS optical cable. 😮
  • Some of the wires to hook up the system look more like something you would expect to see wielded in the Mistress Mandy Gets Blocked Commercial, than something to carry an audio signal and their total cost is more than your first stereo system. 😯
  • The manager who steps in to help close the sale, looks like he hasn’t shaved in about two weeks but his would-be beard reminds you of the peach fuzz on your face in eighth grade.
  • You say I will go home and think about it instead of saying write ‘er up I will take it home today!
  • And the Number one event of stereo shopping that leaves you feeling older is: that you go home with a business card with the system price totals written on it – while your cousin with the blue spiked hair goes home with the sales clerk’s (who probably could play the Mary Ann part in a remake of Gilligan’s Island) home and cell phone number!

😦 😦

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