Posted by: thescoundrel | November 20, 2007

You Know You Aren’t Young Anymore!

I stumbled across a humorous list sent to me by someone several years back. It has been long enough that It was dated back about ten years ago but I do not remember who sent it to me. I had forgotten about the list until I uncovered it last night. For some strange reason it seems a little more funny now, that it did then. So here is part of the list titled —> You know you are not Young anymore, when:

  • Your arms are to short to read the newspaper.
  • Friends call before midnight and ask, did I wake you?
  • You think that 55 mph is a sensible speed limit.
  • You not only know the missing words that belong to the elevator’s music but you are also enjoying singing along to the tune.
  • When PBS is begging for cash, you actually send them a check.
  • You find yourself mimicking your parents dialogue like; Because I said so!
  • You know what the word equity means.
  • You wear a shirt and take your metal-detector along instead of suntan lotion when you go to the beach.
  • You like to wear black dress socks with your sandals
  • You watch TV from the comfort of your La-Z-Boy recliner instead of your bean-bag chair on the floor.
  • You argue about protecting pension plans and social security.
  • You favorite television shows are the Weather Channel and the News.
  • You would rather go to work than make up excuses to skip.
  • You have more hair on your ears than on the top of your head.
  • Your best friend calls to invite you on a night out on the town and you turn him down and pride yourself for being prudent.
  • You can actually use the word prudent in a sentence and believe it.
  • You are asleep, but others worry you are dead. (Hopefully not your date.)
  • You look forward to prunes for dessert.
  • You can live without sex but not without your nap.
  • You tell your wife lets go to bed early–> to sleep.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • You have quit trying to hold in your stomach when a pretty woman enters the room.
  • Your best friend is dating someone half his age; and is not breaking any laws.


  1. so which one you do on the list? hehe…

  2. He He, I see myself in more than 2 of these. (But I’m not telling you which ones.) How many do I have to have to be considered really old!??

  3. It’s amazing, but I was just thinking my arms are too short to read the paper. Thanks for the chuckle, and the reality check.

  4. Well Sulz I am invoking my fifth amendment rights and refuse to incriminate myself. 🙂

    Chellgrove, I am not sure (there was actually another page I have not found) how many totaled that it takes to classify one as old. That is why I am standing on 29+ years old and I refuse to budge! 😉

    Cruiser, yeah my arms seem to have shortened also. I used to have a good laugh trying to figure out why my parents were always fussing with the newspaper. Hmm, I guess the jokes on me now! 😳

  5. I was thinking about the post and an image of Maurice Chevalier singing, I’m glad I’m not young anymore, popped into my head. Of course if you are like Maurice Chevalier, in the movie “Gigi”, being young is the problem. I tend to disagree with the song but hey, who am I to argue with an old man in a movie made before my time with way younger chicks hanging on his arm? 🙂

    More song lyrics from Gigi.

  6. Unfortunately, except for about a half dozen of these, this would describe our life.

    But as they say, getting old is still better than the alternative! 😀

  7. What can you say but getting older means life is more about 55mph instead of 75mph. On snowy days it can turn into a congested traffic jam.

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