Posted by: thescoundrel | January 3, 2008

As Iowans Haggle and Vote – Let The Whining Begin!!!

As Iowans brave frostbite from the frigid cold to go exercise their right to vote, not everybody in the country will be excited that the already overextended race for the 2008 POTUS has finally been jumpstarted. So let the whining begin!!! In a CNN article Ohio Governor Ted Strickland was busy echoing what many other larger states have been screeching for a long time, NO FAIR! It seems that the governor of Ohio, and many others if you read the comments across the blogosphere supporting his whining, feels that Iowa has too much influence in choosing Presidential candidates by being the first in the nation to vote. Oops, I am so sorry Ohio and other states cannot think for themselves. The worry about Iowans ability to influence the elections of many larger states has been creating chaos in the primary election process by large states moving their primary voting dates and attempting to bully the voting process while jockeying for an earlier voting position.


Oh PLEASE, let us get real here. Iowa has an estimated population of less than three million people and a total of seven electoral votes. To put that in prospective, right next door to Iowa is the state I live in – Illinois. The State of Illinois, the state also leading the charge to have the most convicted Governors in the nations prison system, has a population approaching 13 million people and 21 electoral votes. I am sure that tiny little Iowa will be able to bully our state into voting submissiveness. Heck our largest city, Chicago, has almost as many people as the whole State of Iowa at just over 2.8 million Chicagoans (and with its crooked voting fraud history, probably more influence on the political race than all of Iowa’s seven electoral votes. Why else do you suppose that Obama is still cozying up to Chicago mayor Daly and his administrations political stench during a closely contested POTUS run.). So please excuse my projectile vomiting caused by my excessive laughter when I hear Gov. Strickland whine about the undue influence Iowa’s choices that will affect his State of Ohio with its 11.4 plus million citizens and its 20 electoral votes. Maybe Ohio has become a state of Zombies, only capable of following the same exact pattern of the Iowa vote. Or possibly Strickland has overheard some juicy rumor that Iowa must be calling its National Guard troops to alert at this very minute, getting ready to invade Ohio to force the Ohio residents vote exactly as Iowa chooses to vote. I can see it now as the Iowa militia overruns the other forty-nine states with its militia usurping each states elections forcing them to vote as Iowans. Though they might have to instate the draft and draft a few corn fed Iowa cows to have enough troops to police Super Tuesday. Shoot this is the State of Illinois, friend to voter fraud, and if they agreed to take Governor Blagodabitch off Illinois’ payroll we might even be willing to listen to what they have to say without them invading! Still I do not think they want Blago anymore than we do, so I guess I should get the shotguns all locked and loaded (before Blago and Chicago find some way to pry them from our grip) and get the guard dogs on watch duty to await those invading Iowa militia next door trying to force my vote. I am so afeared by the effects of the Iowa vote I can feel my knees knocking! Wait, Wait, Wait. Strike that! I guess the reason my knees are still knocking is the porch door is still open waiting for my slathering guard dogs to come back in the house and I am sitting here at my computer in gym shorts while the temperature is 12 degrees and ice and snow abound. Sorry, My mistake – Not Iowa’s!!

Hey they are even following it on the BBC. No pressure, but I guess the eyes of the world are on Iowa tonight.


However if you just need a good political laugh that also includes chickens involved in devious political statements, try this link!



  1. If you absolutely positively cannot curtail your interest in the Iowa process until the results are all in: the Quad City Times will be running their Iowa Caucus 2008 Online, before during and after the whole haggling process.

  2. Nice rant!

    I still plan on going to the caucus tonight if the weather holds. I’ll be going to the Dem one, since it is closer. Also, their rules are more insane!

    The GOP has a secret ballot which is marked and turned in to the state party headquarters for counting. The Dems have that wacky stand in a corner and see if your candidate gets 15%—or something like that.

    I’ll be like Margaret Mead among the Samoans!

  3. Well have a good time at the show! Hey maybe you could setup a popcorn stand and sell popcorn, hot dogs and beer! Might as well make a profit. Dang, I just cannot get that capitalistic part of my brain to shut down.

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