Posted by: thescoundrel | March 5, 2008

Author Exposes Cabal behind the Petroleum Shortage


An article from the Dispatch/QCOnline inadvertently stumbled upon the real explanation for the petroleum shortages causing rising gas prices over the last several decades. Thanks to an inquisitive young girl and her father Steve Ettlinger’s persistence, his research has accidentally exposed the Hostess Cup Cake Company as the the real culprit responsible for skyrocketing gas prices. It seems that one of the added key freshness ingredients in giving Hostess Twinkies and other snack products longevity of shelf life is polysorbate 60, which requires the use of petroleum products in its creation. With the greedy capitalist Hostess corporation selling roughly 500 million Twinkies (plus all their other snack cakes) a year, they will continue to drive up the price of petroleum products as they push their oil-filled artery-clogging product to the unsuspecting public. Whew, after getting that epiphany out please excuse me, I need to drive down to the hot dog shop and get me a deep-fried Twinkie! 😈

QCOnline Story

Steve Ettlinger

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Responses

  1. this is not related to twinkies…

    will you be doing a cubs thread soon. i am eager to talk about them.

  2. Yeah I keep planning on writing a Cubs post but then the Bears moves got in the way. Plus I was hoping to hear something more on the Brian Roberts rumor over on MLB Trade Rumors. I am still not sold on the deal but I think they are still sour on Eric Patterson over his last season attitude problem. They post on it almost daily but nothing really come out of the woodworks. I was glad to see that Mark DeRosas heart procedure went well. He is supposed to be suiting up next week I think.


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