Posted by: thescoundrel | May 13, 2008

Arkansas Woman to Birth 18th Child!


Last August I blogged about an Arkansas couple, Michelle and Jim Duggar, whom had just celebrated the birth of their 17th child. I was amazed at their sacrifice and family commitment in this day and age of passing-ship marriages and families. The wife/mother has spent eleven of her forty-one years of existence in the stages of pregnancy. WOW, that has to take commitment. And after reading last week that the couple had announced an 18th child is due January of 2009, I am even more amazed. I salute their fortitude and family devotion. Although I do think they are probably taking the bible verse “be fruitful and multiply” a little to serious. Still more power to them, for as much as I like children, I am not sure I could have the same enthusiasm for their abundant wealth.

Though I actually like children, I could never have visualized raising as many children as the Duggars. In fact I don’t have any of my own. Maybe that is why I like children I have never had to take care of them in a 24/7 365.2425 days a year setting. Perhaps it is true, maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder. I have helped take care and baby-sit children short-term and long-term over my lifetime. But at the end of the day they usually get sent home with mom. Of course I am not what you call an ideal or first choice babysitter. I am more of an – Oh My God!!! – is that the only choice I have babysitter! Yup, when junior or missy are left with theScoundrel for any extended length of time, mom is usually ready to scratch my eyes out at the very least. Hmm, perhaps another in a very long list of rejection reasons that theScoundrel is still single. By the time children have left the care of theScoundrel they are well schooled in the important lessons of life. First and foremost during training it is required of my young padawans to be capable of swilling and guzzling Mt. Dew. Even though any visitation is on a temp basis, they must learn to eat all the proper and nutritious food required to reside at my place. Moms can proudly know that their children will learn to healthily eat and properly including the various ways to toss peanuts towards the ceiling and snap them out of the air with their mouth. The children will learn all the basic food groups like tacos, egg rolls, bacon-cheeseburgers, onion rings, Freedom Fries, also snacks like salty–> peanuts, tostadas, tater chips – sweet–> chocolate in all forms, moon pies, Little Debbie nutty bars and snack cakes, brownies, chocolate chip cookies – plus calcium enriched products good for their growing bones like Ice Cream, Chocolate Milk, Sour Cream Onion Dip and Sharp Cheddar Cheese. Another important eating technique is learning how to have fun while eating your food like learning how to take your straw and blow bubbles in your soda, milk or tea. I teach them how eating in or even wearing shoes in general, is hazardous to the health of your feet except when in construction zones. Your toes cannot not properly breathe inside shoes. Not only do I teach them the importance of eating properly I teach the the importance of exercise afterwards, like going outside with the dogs running along the fence barking at neighbors, passersby and though no immediate family has been has been in the family business for decades, we still are not partial to revenuers err., I mean government employees coming to near the property, so it is equally important to bark at them until they leave also. I display to them how if mom has plastic or paper plates in the cupboard, you can still play Frisbee even when you cannot find your real one. I show them how the mailman delivers paper that can be used to make great paper airplanes to fly around the yard and house. I also teach them how to entertain themselves when they are tired of playing with toys. I show them how blowing up paper bags and exploding them behind unsuspecting individuals can be great fun and often times useful when someone is sitting in your favorite chair. We learn the importance of expelling bodily gases. Your body tells you to sneeze, belch (real theScoundrels belch, wussies burp) and fart for a reason, it does not want that gas inside anymore! We also practice our obnoxious noises like fake farting and how to belch on demand. And I also teach them proper sharing techniques of television viewing and how Cubs baseball and Bears football programing take precedence over all other programing or events. It is important to teach them how to share family television time at this young age!! I also teach them the impertinence of bad manners like it is not an intelligent move to throw a temper tantrum on someone that is four to five times your size and that is highly capable of holding his breathe longer, jumping higher, screaming and whining louder than some little tyke. But in general kids and I have a great time together and keep asking mom when they get to come back! Mom’s on the other hand usually mumble something like we’ll see and Uncle Buck? You would think they would be ecstatic about their kid finding a place they like to visit and especially after that someone has just spent the whole day watching and teaching their kid/s important life lessons! 😯 Sheesh!

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Responses

  1. 18 children sounds like a lot to care for but i think the bigger children are helping out, whether in chores or in finance. personally, i wouldn’t want to live in a huge family… i don’t think you could get to know everybody that well.

  2. LOL, I have one brother and one sister. Still my mom had three sisters, one brother and one brother that was stillborn. My maternal grandmother had three sisters and five brothers. You get to know everybody as well as you want to know everybody. 😉 I have usually found larger families bond well. Probably because with so many people in one house, you really don’t have a choice but to get to know everyone.

  3. I totally agree with sulz.
    “18 children sounds like a lot to care for but i think the bigger children are helping out, whether in chores or in finance.”

  4. Big families used to be the norm not the exception. There is no doubt that is a lot of little feet running around the house which means a lot of work and a lot of finances needed. A family that size has to interact and help each other for simple survival. I think the amount of selfishness ingrained in modern society and governmental nannyism makes large families such as this one even more difficult to manage.

  5. i am part of this family and mt baby sis is sooooooo cute i have curly hair i am 12 my name is joy-anna


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