Posted by: thescoundrel | June 24, 2008

Political Speech Rhetoric and Poppycock

Inside every political testimonial are the hidden messages that the politician really meant to express. In no particular order, here are ten pieces of standard political rhetoric followed by their hidden meanings.

I bring the Truth –> I am twisting and/or distorting facts in the statement to project a positive image of my beliefs and image to get your vote.

I bring you Change –> I am offering you more of the same old tired B.S. packaged in a pretty new package: because the fact is that political change is impossible without complete removal of every politician that has been in the business for longer than five minutes.

I have the best interests of the citizens of this country in mind –> This ones gonna hurt bad, probably in your wallet.

I am not a crook –> This lie will be a whopper!!

I was unaware of what was happening –> I shut my eyes, ears and took a bottle of sleeping pills before the event occurred. When you see no-evil or hear no-evil then you claim that you cannot know any evil.

I have a political mandate from the people of this country –> I beat the other guy by a slim margin and plan on exploiting my victory to the fullest extent.

My opponent is wicked and bad for the direction of this countryIf I am to bathe in the green-graft handed out by the special interest groups I have to throw my drinking buddy under the bus.

I am going to clean up politics –> I plan on harassing, attacking and pointing judgmental fingers at my opponents as long as I can get away with it.

My opponent is using dirty tricks to confuse my message –> His campaign B.S. is more interesting, getting more media time and/or having more effect than my campaign B.S.

My opponent is a worthy challenger –> If I directly challenge my opponent then I look like a ruthless individual, besides we both have skeletons in our closets to use against each other in emergency situations. That is the role of the 527’s.


  1. “Only words?” – unless my wife, or pastor, speak them.

    “CHANGE” – same old politics, but from someone new.

  2. subject change – whats the best place(s) to be for 4th of july activities? where are the best fireworks displays?

  3. Robbie I have not been to a fireworks display in over a decade. Though I am sure there are several around the area. The last few I attended were in East Moline and way out in Prophetstown. I understand the Quad City has a good-sized one on the river but I have never been to it. Maybe one of the readers can tell you where the best display is. I did notice the East Moline and Quad City displays seem to be on July 3rd this year.
    QCOnline Events July 3rd

    QCOnline Events July 4th

  4. “I plan to continue to do the work of the people” really means “I’ll probably be indicted by morning.” Blago used this one the other day.

  5. Yup, you got that right. No doubt about it, Blago has the complete repertoire in his conversational skills.

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