Posted by: thescoundrel | December 3, 2009

Less Ordinary Christmas Gift Tips 2009 E2


Edition 2 – The Boss’ Gift

Caution the following post contains adult subject and links!

Okay, most of us have been there. The office folk get together, take up a collection and drafts a committee to buy the boss a Christmas gift. Sometimes the gift is easy. The boss is some stodgy relic you all decide one or more of the following – cigars, a bottle of his favorite booze, a nice sweater, tie etc.  The boss is female, still not to bad most of the time you all decide a pretty scarf, a Christmas sweater, her favorite booze etc. Then comes the time the boss is some cock-of-the-yard stud wannabe. More than often you can still follow the normal choices. Ahh but if this post was about a normal choice it wouldn’t be titled “Less Ordinary Gifts”. Nope, there always comes the time when the need to buy the crowing rooster a gift less ordinary is decided upon. More often than not the idea springs from the younger coquette in the group whom thinks it will be cool to buy the rooster something more fun. Okay fun gift for a boss. Maybe a quirky tie or a singing fish? Nope that is not fun enough for her. How about some fun golf balls or x-rated tees. No, again. Well how about some ideas? Of course though she has lots of ideas about the purchase. She thinks we should buy him something more fun and more sexy. Okay how about a Big Johnson T-Shirt? That’s sounds fun, but… “we” should also get him some fun underwear. Okay how about some boxers with his favorite sports team on them? Nope that’s not sexy fun. Arghh! You know where this is going from past experiences.  Well what is her suggestion? Well how about some sexy thong underwear like she bought her boyfriend? Fine, but now Ms. Coquette explains it is inappropriate for her to actually purchase the items for anyone other than her man, especially since the boss is engaged. So… that usually meant the purchase would fall upon some poor group-drafted schmuck -Me- making a trip to Spencers or some adult store to purchase some funky underwear like a peek-a-boo kilt or the elephant thong. From the moment you start shopping you feel strange burning sensations. And by the time you make your purchase and ask if they have gift-wrap you suddenly realize that the uncomfortable burning sensations have increased and that what you are feeling is the searching  Gaydar pings emanating from the various customers and clerks. Unless you are gay, that is probably a goodtime to hasten your clerk and get the Hell out of Dodge.

TheScoundrel less ordinary Christmas gift tip of the day –> If being bombarded by gaydar makes you uncomfortable, buy those boss gifts online or be sick the day the boss gift money is collected or maybe just break both of your legs and arms. Or maybe suggest a weekend trip to a strip club instead. Then the boss can tell years of tall tales about how he explained away the cheap perfume smell and lipstick on his collar to his honey.

That’s all for this edition of less ordinary Christmas gift tips.


Merry Christmas

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Responses

  1. Gee, I can’t believe you overlooked the Clap Bra.

    Although probably not appropriate for a male workforce to give to a female boss, this gift has potential in offices and businesses where women dominate—like a convent, maybe.

    Or maybe not. 🙂

  2. 😆 Not such a good gift for a female boss unless it was a group of females giving the gift. . Still I would think that if they were a real item – they would fly off the shelves as guys bought them for their women. Of course then the trick would be getting the women to wear them. They would create real problems for the wearer during movies, concerts and sporting events.

  3. hee!hee!

  4. Oh yeah, forgot to add (gee, I really miss that edit button on other WordPress blog comments ;-)) why is your December 4 post ahead of your December 8 post?

    I gotta confess WordPress is a mystery to me—they give us all these memos, but I ignore them hoping they don’t apply to me. But I do hope that their new “thing” isn’t scrambling posts in order to create “excitement” or some other lame@ss thing.

    Jeez!

  5. “why is your December 4 post ahead of your December 8 post?”

    That is one of the new features you can use when creating a post. There is now an posting option that allows you to choose to pin a post to the top of the page. I plan on continuing to add songs to the list between now and Christmas, so rather than having the post get lost among new posts, or writing a new post everytime I find a new song selection, I pinned the original it to the top. 😉


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