A lawn is a demanding entity. You have to seed it. You have to weed it. You have to water it. You have to mow it. And you have to trim it. You don’t get any pay. Instead for all this work you are entitled to the city raising your property taxes to pay for some city project – possibly as dumbass, as Silvis painting a water tower to look like a giant golf ball. So- it should come as no surprise to any sane individual – that after reading Graham Watson’s article concerning Oklahoma State football players pay for play activities that I am announcing my plan to go on strike against the Tsarist Pig property management -at la casa Scoundrel- responsible for guaranteeing a proper wage compensation for my lawn care services! Who can blame me (instead of balm me – no thanks to you incapable-of-reading my mind spellcheck)?
In the article about Oklahoma State, it is revealed that OK State football players often received anywhere from $400 to $600, just to start-up a mower or weed eater. They didn’t even have to use them, just start them and then turn them off. I must be doing something wrong because I don’t just start my equipment, I toil with it. When I am finished I am usually soaked with sweat and my muscles hurt from the labor required to mow this large lawn. Yet the capitalist pig property manager pays me not one red cent nor does he even bother to offer up an attaboy.
The boss needs me more than I need him! And it is plain to see the working mans plight when college football players get paid ginormous funds for feigning work while this working Joe gets no reward for his labors. It is time for this voiceless member of society got what he deserves! So effective immediately I am instituting a work stoppage against the Bigwig taskmasters of la casa Scoundrel responsible for overseeing my economic future. No more lawn services until I am reimbursed for my wages attuned to the going wage rate – now set by Oklahoma State University. I plan on engaging management in intense negotiations. I will use my negotiating position to obtain – 8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for what we will. I will hammer from without and will be relentless and ruthless as I am kicking ass for the working class. I will obtain my goals by looking my enemy straight in the eye while demanding my bread and roses. I will refuse to take no for an answer and will lay down my working tools until I pay myself wages comparable to those paid the lawn service workers mentioned in the Watson article. So beware when you visit friends and neighbors, as my yard is likely to soon resemble a jungle. I foresee long drawn-out negotiations with little straightforward bargaining from my employer; he is theScoundrel after-all. Viva la revolución!
- Oklahoma State Football Profiled in SI’s Shocking 5-Part Investigative Report (bleacherreport.com)
- Weed Control in Tulsa – What It Takes for a Healthy, Weed-Free Lawn (oklahomalandscape.wordpress.com)
- Lawn Mowing Tips – How High or Low to Mow? (oklahomalandscape.wordpress.com)